The Raven's Protégé
by JTIonarch
Summary: A young, world-weary Naruto has a chance encounter with a member of the ANBU's Alpha Squad. Given an opportunity to improve himself, he seizes it, never looking back. The true Naruto, unleashed upon the Elemental Nations! Slight AU.
1. Weasel's Promise

**So I got bored waiting around for Semester 1 results to come in, so I sat down on my PC and turned out this story. Tell me what you think.**

**Disclaimer: After reading this week's chapter, I don't think I want to own Naruto anymore.**

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**The Raven's Protégé **

_January 3_

_6 years after the Kyuubi disaster_

_Konohagakure No Sato_

The boy ran across the marketplace stalls, moving as fast as his small legs allowed him. His hands were weighted down with fruits, a loaf of bread and a skinned chicken. His eyes shone with innocence tempered by the steely gaze of an individual who has lived a hard life. One might even stop to think how much the child must have suffered to be able to pull off that look. Of course if they had stopped, there would have been a good chance that they would have been trampled by the pursuing mob.

Reaching the end of the marketplace, the boy veered right towards the commercial district where the throng of people was just starting to swell. The workers were returning home after a hard day of work and only a few noticed the dark green blur that shot past them. Even the most drained individual, however, looked up to see the mob thunder past, with the rioters armed with everything from sickles to even a dried fish.

The clocks struck 5 p.m. and the already overcrowded streets saw an even bigger influx of people on to the sidewalk. Although Konohagakure No Sato was by no means overpopulated, the infrastructure had not been built to accommodate so many people. People spilled out onto the roads causing instant traffic jams as carriages and horses had no more room to manoeuvre. Tempers flared and curses exchanged when the thoroughfare spotted the mob rushing down the street, screaming for blood. Only one person could rile up an entire group of people to this extent.

Uzumaki Naruto dived into the crowd in an attempt to shake his pursuers. His blonde hair flapped about wildly and his bright eyes shone with an odd mixture of calmness and iron determination. His short stature allowed him to traverse through the crowd with relative ease as his eyes darted about, searching out his next potential route. Spotting a familiar dirt trail around the corner, he sprinted across the street and started following the trail. The mob had finally extricated itself from the crowds and took off after Naruto. Unfortunately, it had lost a lot of steam as most of its members had either given up the chase or had simply gotten stuck in the crowd. Nevertheless, the remaining few persons gave chase, determined to catch the boy and extract their pound of flesh from him.

Naruto reached the end of the trail and skidded to a stop right in front of a dead end. He slowly turned around to face the incoming mob. The smaller mob made its way towards the boy, its members huffing and puffing after such a gruelling chase. As one, they looked up to see Naruto staring at them with a stupid grin on his face and bristled. The damned demon was mocking them!

"Looks like you guys caught up with me," said Naruto cheerfully, "I knew it was a mistake to steal from the fruit stand. Fruits are healthy," he said with a smile on his face.

The mob was livid. He was making fun of them now? And what was all that nonsense about fruit?

"Today is the day that you are gonna pay, you stupid brat," hissed a particularly irate stall keeper, "I have just about had it with you. We should have killed you 6 years ago and be done with it. It doesn't really matter though. Mistakes can always be rectified," he said with a sinister grin.

"Yeah, yeah, you and about 200 other people…get in line, ya stuck-up asshole," Naruto said dismissively. Living on the streets had given him an extensively crude vocabulary. The amount of fucks given by the 6 year old was too damn high.

The entire mob bristled, "You filthy demon," another man yelled," Watch your fucking mouth or I will cut your tongue out and feed it to my dog."

"Practice what you preach, lady," Naruto grinned as the man's face took on a curious purple hue, "Is it that time of the month again?"

The man snapped. He charged at Naruto, dried fish flapping about wildly, and attempted to kill him by making him smell the fish. What else could he have done with it?

However, before the man reached him, Naruto reached into his back pocket and pulled out a matchbox.

"You should really watch where you step," he said conversationally, "You never know where shit can be?" his grin widened, "Or maybe 20 pounds of pure magnesium."

He lit a matchstick and threw it at the man's feet. The man, and by extension, the mob hadn't noticed the metal until it was too late. The lit matchstick reacted with the highly volatile compound and the entire metal burst into blinding white flames, effectively handicapping the entire mob due to loss of vision. After several seconds of anxious pawing at faces, sight was slowly returned. 'Dried fish' man was lying against a wall, the concussive force of the reaction having thrown him against it. He was going to have to suffer a nasty concussion just for that. Uzumaki Naruto, however, was nowhere to be seen.

xxXxx

The ANBU squad tracking the mob was crouched on the adjacent roof looking over to make sure that nobody was badly hurt. After ascertaining that no one was about to die, they turned around to look at the disappearing figure of a short, blond haired boy carrying various food items.

A man whose face was hidden behind a mask shaped like a bear's face whistled, "That was one hell of a chase, eh Weasel?"

Weasel nodded his agreement but didn't comment on the statement.

"That kid's got some balls made of brass to think about pulling that off in the middle of the day," Bear continued, "Fast and creative too, judging by how he escaped those ignoramuses."

Weasel nodded again.

"Bah, you're no fun at all," Bear grumbled, "Would it kill ya to act like a human once in a while?"

Weasel didn't even acknowledge that statement.

"What am I even saying," Bear said, slapping the side of his face in mock surprise, "This is you we are talking about, amirite?"

Weasel showed no response but Bear picked up on the slight twitch that wracked his partner's shoulders. He grinned beneath his mask.

"Knew I would get to you someday," Bear smiled, giving himself a mental pat on the back at his achievement. He switched his gaze back to the dispersing mob.

"Gotta say though, except for the last bit, kid was pretty lucky with the whole mob thing. Who hits up the market during the middle of the day?" Bear stated sagely.

"I am afraid I don't agree with you."

Bear stiffened and slowly turned around to face his partner. A moment of absolute silence descended upon the two operatives.

"HOLY SHIT! YOU CAN TALK?!" Bear shouted, "WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS BULLSHIT?! WE WORK TOGETHER FOR 5 MONTHS AND YOU DON'T SAY A WORD AND THEN SOME FUCKING KID SHOWS UP AND SUDDENLY YOU'RE ALL TALK SHOW HOST?"

Okay, maybe that was an exaggeration but compared to Weasel's absolute silence policy, it was pretty fair.

"I didn't want to indulge in those nonsensical ravings that you deem conversation," Weasel said smoothly.

Bear's eyes narrowed behind his mask, "Did you just call me stupid in Smart…ese? I would appreciate it if you would just say that to my face."

Weasel turned around to look at his partner. At that moment, Bear could have sworn he saw a deadpan expression behind Weasel's mask.

"You're stupid."

Bear visibly deflated and started crying anime tears.

"No respect at all…"

The corners of Weasel's mouth quirked upwards.

"As for my earlier comment, I do not think that luck had anything to do with Naruto-kun's escape," Weasel continued, "It was a brilliantly executed plan, on par with most chuunin tacticians."

Bear snorted in disbelief, "What the hell are you talking about? He flat-out ran from the market and led the mob into a trap. Hell most ninja dogs can pull that off and they are not all that smart."

"Your powers of observation, or lack of it, continue to astonish me," Weasel said in a monotone, as Bear spluttered in indignation, "You need to look underneath the underneath as Captain always says."

"Very well then Weasel-sensei, please enlighten your humble disciple on observation skills," Bear said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

Weasel turned around to look at Naruto's vanishing figure, "Tell me what you noticed about the whole chase."

Bear blinked and searched his memories for information, "Well the kid hit up 3 stalls, the fruit vendor, the baker and the butcher in succession. Then he ran and took the turn to enter the commercial district. The mob followed him all the way to that dead end where he pulled that trick out of his ass and escaped."

Weasel nodded, "Excellent analysis, but you still haven't looked into the purpose behind his every move."

Bear was, by now, very interested on what he had missed that Weasel had picked up. He listened closely to what his partner had to say.

"Naruto-kun had planned this event for a while now," Weasel began, "He struck at the last few stalls in the marketplace because he knew that if he ran across the length of the marketplace, he undoubtedly would have attracted more pursuers. He timed his theft to coincide with the time where all employees in the commercial district are let out to return home. He used this to his advantage when he directed the mob to follow him into that district. This ploy drastically cut down the mob size allowing him to deal with the stragglers in the manner that we just witnessed."

Bear just sat there in awe as his mind connected the dots and realized that Weasel was right. He whistled appreciatively.

"Hot damn, that kid is an honest-to-gods genius," he said, "Even I couldn't have thought up all of that."

"I was under the impression that you don't think at all."

"Fuck you, Weasel!"

"Now now boys, you need to know that such animosity isn't good for team dynamics."

Weasel and Bear whirled around and took in the sight of a man whose features were covered by a dog mask.

"Captain?" Bear questioned, "What are you doing here?"

"Nothing really, just came to make sure that the situation didn't get too out of hand," Dog said carelessly, "I would hate to have to do all that paperwork for the Hokage if the boy was injured."

Bear nodded. Dog's laziness was legendary amongst not just ANBU but ninja in general. This reputation made his opponents almost always underestimate him. He would then proceed to eviscerate them and gift them their innards. Dog's prowess as a ninja was nothing to laugh at.

"Is the boy still being tracked?" Weasel asked.

"Yes, Cat's got her eye on him right now," Dog replied.

Weasel nodded once to show his satisfaction.

"Now then gentlemen, we must return to HQ to file a report with the Hokage," Dog said, "Best not to be _too_ late. And Bear?"

Bear turned to look at his captain.

"What was that comment about nin-dogs?"

Bear stiffened in fear and looked at his partner for help.

"I would suggest that you run now unless you want to suffer a possible concussion."

The citizens of Konoha could have sworn that they heard several cries coming from the roofs of the buildings in the commercial district.

xxXxx

Uzumaki Naruto was enjoying a tasty dinner at Training Ground 10 when he was rudely interrupted by a kunai that skewered the loaf of bread that he was about to eat. He immediately jumped backward into a crouch, his eyes darting about as he searched for his attacker. The faint whistling of approaching shuriken split the night as he dived forward to avoid the deadly throwing stars. He rolled on impact and picked up the kunai to defend himself.

"It's rude to interrupt a guy when he is eating," Naruto said nonchalantly, "Show yourself."

He stiffened when he felt the cold steel of a kunai against his neck. His eyes flickered to the individual standing behind him. The man's face was covered by a mask and he was outfitted in lightweight armour.

'ANBU?,' Naruto thought, 'But why is he attacking me? Jiji issued orders that I was to be watched not killed.'

"Hello, Naruto-kun," the man said, "I don't believe we have had the pleasure of meeting."

"Judging by this position, I could have done without this meeting," Naruto said, ever the smartass.

The man tilted his head in an intrigued fashion.

"Even in the face of certain death you still retain your wit?" he queried, "There is a fine line between confidence and arrogance."

"I don't know," Naruto began, "There are 2 objects that separate men from women and I am pointing a knife at one of them."

The man looked down to see that Naruto had the kunai positioned right in front of his groin. If Naruto was expecting a panic attack of sorts, he was sorely disappointed. The man just kept standing there staring at Naruto impassively.

"Who sent you here?" Naruto demanded, "If you tell me, I might just allow you to have children. Then again you did ruin dinner so dinner's on you too."

The man chuckled before letting go of Naruto and stepping into the light. It didn't help Naruto identify just who had tried to kill him but it did show that he wasn't a threat. The weasel mask identified him as a member of Alpha Squad, the squad dedicated to serving the Hokage himself.

"Do not worry, Naruto-kun," Weasel said, "I am not here to harm you. I was merely testing you."

"Sorry I don't roll that way," Naruto quipped, "Not that I am judging or anything."

Weasel just stared at him.

"Sheesh it was a joke," Naruto grumbled, "Honestly you ANBU types are emotionally dead or something."

"You're 6 years old," Weasel stated, "I don't think it is appropriate for me to discuss this with you."

"Fuck you," Naruto said, "Spare me the whole 'you're just a kid' lecture. Thanks to those assholes in the village, I had to grow up fast or die and I like ramen too much to die."

Behind his mask, Weasel frowned. It was true that the villagers blamed Naruto for the destruction caused by the Kyuubi but he hadn't known that it had affected Naruto to this extent. Thanks to the Sandaime's law, he couldn't even explain to Naruto why the villagers hated him. That damned law was more trouble than it was worth.

"Now then, Weasel," Naruto said, "What's the deal? A member of the famed Alpha Squad want something from little old me?"

"I merely wanted to congratulate you on the ingenuity of your plan to steal dinner," Weasel said, "Quite the tactical mind you have there."

Naruto immediately gripped the knife and threw it at Weasel, stabbing him in his right lung. Weasel looked down in surprise at the gaping hole in his chest, before he suddenly dispersed into a murder of ravens. Naruto immediately dropped into his 'fight or flight' mode.

"Who the hell are you?" Naruto demanded, "And how did you see through my play?"

Weasel emerged from the trees to Naruto's right.

"Was that really necessary?" he asked, curiosity evident in his voice.

"Damn right it was," Naruto replied, "Can't have those assholes wising up to my act and stop underestimating me. It makes everything so much easier if they think I am mentally handicapped."

Weasel just stood there, re-evaluating his opinions on the boy standing in front of him.

"Does it not hurt your pride that they do not recognise how dangerous you are?" he asked.

"Pride can go fuck itself," Naruto cussed, "It's overrated because of ninja like you and it doesn't put food in my stomach."

Weasel nodded his agreement, "Ninja pride is indeed contradictory to the very concept of ninja, but it is important that you possess human pride if you want to ensure that you do not veer onto a dark path during your life."

"Thanks for the lesson," Naruto said sarcastically, "Now can you please tell me what it is you want or do I have to do something drastic?"

Weasel looked at Naruto, his mask hiding his curious expression.

"You have more tricks with which you can combat me?" he asked.

Naruto pointed at his bag which was lying next to Weasel's feet.

"That entire bag is booby-trapped with enough magnesium to burn a hole till hell. It has also got a nice can of military grade pepper spray which gives you a bad case of blindness," Naruto said, his smirk evident on his face.

Weasel turned his gaze towards the bag. His shoulders tensed when he spotted the familiar metal sticking out of the zipper of the bag. He looked back up at Naruto to see him tossing his matchbox in his right hand. Weasel started chuckling again. He reached up to his mask and took it off his face.

"Very good, Naruto-kun," Weasel said, "As expected from a genius like yourself."

Naruto took in the young face, high cheekbones with bangs of black hair framing the side of his face. His long black hair was tied in a neat ponytail with a red piece of string. The mirth was already fading from his face as his features schooled themselves into an expression that conveyed cold apathy.

"What the hell?" Naruto said, dumbstruck, "You're like 3 years older than me."

Weasel shook his head, "I am actually 12 years old, but that isn't the point."

Naruto's mind was still reeling. A 12 year-old kid was part of Alpha Squad. He wondered how much Jiji must have been drinking when he drafted this guy into ANBU.

"You and I are very alike, Naruto-kun," Weasel began, "We are both geniuses of our generation who couldn't care less about our status. Our ideals about the concept of the ninja are similar as well. In light of recent events, I would like to impart to you the skills, knowledge and abilities that you will require to survive in this world."

Naruto was shocked. Aside from Jiji, no one had even deigned to talk to him and this kid was offering to train him? His eyes narrowed.

"What's in it for you?" he asked.

"Nothing," Weasel replied calmly.

"DON'T FUCK WITH ME," Naruto roared, "DO YOU HONESTLY EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE THAT YOU DON'T HAVE AN ULTERIOR MOTIVE FOR HELPING ME? HOW MUCH DID THEY OFFER YOU TO ARRANGE AN 'ACCIDENT'?"

Weasel was taken aback. The boy thought that he was an assassin coming after him?

"I assure you, there is nothing in it for me except for the satisfaction that will come from contributing to the education of the one who I believe will revolutionize the world. Of course, the companionship of a kindred personality would not hurt either," Weasel replied, trying to soothe the enraged boy.

Naruto did not know what to think. His gut was telling him to run in the opposite direction and not stop until he reached Kiri but his heart was telling him that Weasel was not lying. He applied his logical mind to the situation in an effort to understand the situation. The probability of Weasel being an assassin was extremely low. If he was an assassin, he could have easily killed Naruto by now and been 10 miles out of Konoha within 10 minutes. He had speed and some sort of technique that allowed him to create clones. An assassin wouldn't have wasted his time talking to him and Naruto was under no illusion that he could stand up to a ninja of Weasel's calibre anyway. The more Naruto thought about it, the more unlikely it seemed that Weasel was an assassin.

"Would you really help me?" Naruto asked in a more subdued voice.

"Of course," Weasel replied immediately, "I also give you my word that you will not be harmed outside that of training parameters."

Naruto shrugged mentally. What did he have to lose?

"Alright, I am up for it," Naruto said, "But try anything funny and I will make sure you can't have kids somehow."

"That's fair," Weasel said in a placating manner, "Now please put down the matchbox before an accident occurs."

"Don't worry about it," Naruto said, "There isn't enough magnesium in there to even start a camp fire. I used up my stash trying to escape that mob."

Weasel blinked, "You were bluffing? What about the pepper spray?"

"Oh you mean this bottle of shampoo I swiped from the general store? The most it will do is give you itchy eyes. Hurts like shit though. See where it says, gentle on the eyes? Total bullshit."

Weasel knew at that moment that he had chosen well. He would mould Naruto into the finest ninja in the Elemental Nations.

"Since you already know my name, I guess you should tell me yours or should I just call you Weasel?" Naruto asked.

Weasel closed his eyes for a few seconds and when he opened them, the black irises had morphed into crimson ones with three markings around the pupil. Weasel smiled, his eyes showing the satisfaction that he was feeling at the moment.

"Pleased to meet you Naruto-kun," Weasel said, "My name is Uchiha Itachi."

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**And done. It's my first time so I tried to be gentle. Don't you just love innuendo? Anyway tell me what you think. Remember to follow internet etiquette. Nobody likes a troll. I will try to make sure to update regularly, and if I take off I will make sure to give you guys a heads up. Cheers.**


	2. Who Let The Weasels Out?

**Second chapter is up just cause I am a nice guy.**

**Disclaimer: Anybody else feel that owning Naruto would just be too troublesome?**

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_October 24_

_8 years after the Kyuubi disaster_

_Konohagakure No Sato_

Uzumaki Naruto was in Training Ground 10 and had encountered a small problem. This problem was currently sticking out of his chest with eight inches of steel protruding out the back. He coughed out a torrent of blood, and clutched his chest in pain. He whirled around looking for the tell-tale sign of his attacker. He strained all of his senses, alert for any external stimuli that would give away his opponent's position. His entire body was in pain and he wasn't sure how long he could hold out against the enemy. He suddenly straightened up, his head cocked towards the side. He had just noticed something. The grounds were too silent.

He put his hands together in the Ram seal, "Kai!"

The entire world rippled and fell away, signifying that he was under a genjutsu the whole time. He looked down to his chest and noticed that the wound had disappeared. He suddenly whirled around and put up his kunai just in time to block another one heading for his jugular.

"Very good, Naruto-kun," said Itachi, "You managed to break out before I could incapacitate you."

Naruto stayed silent as he put all of his strength into making sure that the kunai didn't sink into his flesh. His other hand suddenly struck out towards Itachi's midsection. Itachi easily parried the blow and backpedalled to get out of Naruto's reach. He heard a distinct sizzling sound coming from his sleeve and when he checked it, he saw a flash tag about to go off. Naruto sprinted for cover amongst the trees when he heard the tag explode and a bright light filled the ground. Skidding to a stop, he turned around to see Itachi blinded as he staggered around aimlessly. Naruto immediately turned around to stop the kunai sinking into his liver this time.

"You are learning," Itachi said, "But still not quite at a level where you pose a challenge to me."

Naruto looked at Itachi with an incredulous expression.

"You're an ANBU captain," he stated, "I would be worried if I was able to beat you. What could that mean for Konoha?"

"Interesting," Itachi commented, "Even in the midst of a battle, you worry for the fate of your home?"

"Well of course," Naruto said emphatically, "Ichiraku's Ramen is in Konoha. I would kill the son-of-a-bitch who destroyed that little piece of heaven."

Itachi didn't respond to that comment, but his lips twitched for a second. That was tantamount to full-blown laughter coming from Uchiha Itachi.

"I see your fetish for ramen hasn't faded," Itachi said, "However, you're forgetting that we are still in the midst of a battle."

"Oh I haven't forgotten, Weasel-_sensei_," Naruto said conspiratorially as he reached into his bag and brought out an object.

Itachi's eyes widened in fear when he saw what Naruto was holding but he quickly set his expression back into his trademarked apathetic expression. Inside his head though, he was panicking at what would come next. He quickly checked his pockets to see that Naruto had indeed stolen that item from him sometime during their spar.

"Come now, Naruto-kun," Itachi began, "There really is no need for such drastic measures."

"Oh I think there is, Weasel-_chan_," Naruto said in a sing-song fashion, "You see I don't appreciate being put into such a nasty genjutsu."

Itachi was by now beginning to sweat because of the situation. He wasn't sure that he would come out of here unscathed at this point.

"Naruto-kun, I am giving you one chance to put that item down before an accident occurs," Itachi said warningly, "You are aware of how dangerous that item is, I assume."

Naruto cocked his head towards the side, "Dangerous? This thing right here? Are you insane Weasel? This baby isn't dangerous; it's my leverage against you."

Itachi knew that the situation was out of his hands by now and decided to act before Naruto could use _that_. He sent a quick burst of killing intent towards Naruto to destabilize him and threw 3 kunai at him, all of them aimed at vital points. Naruto froze when the killing intent hit him allowing the kunai to hit right on target. Blood spurted as the knives pierced Naruto's forehead, heart and liver. Itachi's eyes widened as he saw what he had done. He ran towards Naruto's prone form, hoping against hope that this wasn't real. He suddenly paused. This wasn't real.

Itachi quickly threw some shuriken towards the rapidly advancing form of a blond haired ninja, but it was too late. A kunai sank into his forearm and his leg effectively handicapping him. His leg gave out and he collapsed onto the forest floor. He turned to look at Naruto's 'body' as it spontaneously combusted. His gaze then swivelled towards the form of Uzumaki Naruto as he made his way towards him.

Naruto whistled, "Ooh that could have been bad. You really are crazy Weasel. What made you think I was actually going to use _it_?"

"The fact that you would do it to spite me," said a voice behind Naruto as he felt the sharp edge of a kunai against his neck. He stiffened then relaxed when he realized who it was. He looked down just in time to see 'Itachi' disperse into a murder of ravens.

Naruto groaned, "I hate your dual layered genjutsu soo much right now. I was fighting a Kage Bunshin the whole time?"

Itachi nodded, "It was impressive that you managed to break the first layer, but it was expected from someone with your skills. Therefore I set up the second layer as insurance."

"Stupid Weasel with his stupid genjutsu," Naruto grumbled, "I never had a chance at all."

"Your genjutsu is coming along in a satisfactory manner," Itachi commented, "If not for my own prowess, I would undoubtedly have fallen prey to that ploy."

"Yeah, yeah not everyone's born with those damned eyes of yours," Naruto said, "Some of us actually have to do the work to get to your level."

It was all just petty grumbling. Naruto knew that Itachi was skilled even without the Sharingan. You didn't become an ANBU captain when you were 14 without packing some serious firepower. The last person who had managed anything close to that level of skill was Hatake Kakashi, and at this rate he would be fodder compared to Itachi in a few years.

Itachi cleared his throat as he looked expectantly at Naruto, "I believe you have something of mine," he said in an expectant manner.

"Hm? Oh yeah! Here you go," Naruto said as he reached for the weapon of mass destruction that he had stolen from Itachi and retrieved a stick of pocky.

"You need a psych evaluation Weasel," said Naruto as he handed back the sweet, "If an enemy got hold of your pocky, he would destroy you."

Naruto was suddenly forced to his knees by a burst of killing intent.

Itachi's expression didn't change but his words sent a chill through Naruto, "If an enemy ever laid his hands on my precious, I would obliterate him from this world."

With that promise, he turned around and headed back towards the village leaving Naruto shaking on the ground.

"We are doomed," he whispered, "That psychopath will kill us all."

xxXXxx

The past two years had been kind to Naruto, relatively speaking. He no longer looked perpetually skinny and his skin had a healthy glow about it that was missing 2 years ago. His untamed blond hair was styled in a similar fashion to Itachi's with two bangs framing his face and a short frizzy ponytail sticking out the back. His ANBU-issue shinobi suit was a dark blue colour with the ends taped onto his body to prevent his appendages from snagging into the material. The only thing about him that hadn't changed was his eyes. The same innocence shone through them mixed in with iron determination and a hint of maturity beyond his years.

He entered the main area of the village, trailing behind Itachi, who was still miffed about the whole 'pocky' situation. Not that it showed, but the Uchiha scion's expression was easily read by Naruto. He decided to leave Itachi to wrestle with his _problems,_ and followed without making conversation. Naruto was jerked from his thoughts when he suddenly felt a pair of arms wrap around his body and soft flesh pressed against his head. He sighed loudly.

"Aww, does poor Naru-chan have a boo-boo? Let your future lover help you kiss it away," said a distinctly feminine voice.

Naruto groaned, "For the last time Anko, I am only 8 years old. Can I please just concentrate on becoming taller than you first?"

17 year-old Anko Mitarashi pouted at Naruto's response, "But you act way older anyway. Why wait?"

"Get the hell away from me you cradle-robber," Naruto shouted, finally losing his cool.

Anko gasped as she clutched her heart in mock agony, "Noooo! My Naru-chan doesn't love me anymore. First I lose Itachi-kun to men and now Naru-chan thinks I am too old for him. Oh woe is me!"

"Are you insinuating that I am gay?" Itachi asked his expression still neutral.

"Are you kidding," Anko said, as she grabbed her breasts, "Any man who can resist these is definitely playing for the other team."

"I am afraid I do not understand that logic," Itachi said, "You consider me to be homosexual because I don't exhibit tendencies to ogle women as pieces of meat?"

"Shut the fuck up, Weasel," Naruto groaned, "I swear to god, I think you were dropped on the head as a kid or something. Nobody can be that socially brain dead."

Itachi ignored him as he turned back to Anko.

"Have you completed the task?" he asked.

Anko's flirtatious nature took an abrupt 180 as she nodded her head seriously, "Hai taichou. The target was eliminated with minimum collateral damage. We even managed to recover a piece of DNA for the R&D department to study to see if they can replicate the target's abilities."

Itachi nodded, "Well done, Snake. Take a short vacation. You have earned it. I don't want to see you burned out in the line of duty."

Anko's dominant nature came back to the forefront as she grabbed Naruto and nuzzled his cheek.

"Of course, Itachi-chan. I have even got my very own boy-toy to play with," she cooed.

Naruto spluttered in indignation as he stared pleadingly at Itachi. Itachi didn't speak but Naruto could see the beginnings of a sinister smile on his face. He simply turned around and walked away leaving Naruto to struggle with Anko.

"DAMN YOU, WEASEL!"

xxXXxx

The Sandaime Hokage, Sarutobi Hiruzen of Konoha was gazing into his crystal ball and chuckling at Naruto's plight, but was secretly wishing that he could take his place. He would have to make do with his favourite book. He immediately went into business mode when he saw a weasel masked member of the ANBU approach his desk in the office.

"Ah Itachi-kun," Sarutobi greeted, "I trust the mission went well."

Itachi bowed his head, "Hai Hokage-sama. The target has been terminated and his remains have been turned over to R&D to see if they can salvage anything."

Sarutobi nodded and his features softened as his gaze drifted back to his ball. Naruto was arguing loudly with Anko over a plate of dango because she kept trying to pilfer his share too.

"He is growing up to be a fine young man," Sarutobi commented, "And we have you to thank for that."

"It was mostly Naruto-kun's skill and determination that helped him to get to his level," Itachi said modestly, "His attitude is absolutely astounding. He could easily take out most chuunin level opponents. Even I couldn't do that at his age."

"Be that as it may, I still think that your guidance set him on the right path," Sarutobi said, "I shudder to think what he could have become if he was at the mercy of the civilians."

"I am sure that one day they will understand and honour the Yondaime's last wish," Itachi said optimistically, "It is surprising that they haven't already figured it out."

Sarutobi looked up sharply, "You knew? All this time?"

"I specialize in constructing false realities, Hokage-sama. If I couldn't notice such an obvious detail, I would not be half as skilled as I am," Itachi said.

Sarutobi took a long smoke from his pipe as he scrutinized the ANBU captain.

"Is that why you chose to help him?" he asked.

"Heritage did not and will never dictate my choices or actions," Itachi replied, "You already know that, Hokage-sama."

Sarutobi nodded, pleased with the response.

"Who would have thought that he would have an aptitude for genjutsu," Sarutobi said, "I always thought he would turn out to be a ninjutsu or fuuinjutsu specialist."

"Naruto-kun frequently comments that genjutsu is one of the most underrated fields in the shinobi world," Itachi said, "He considers the power to alter your opponent's reality to be the strongest advantage, period."

"Indeed. The subtle art of genjutsu, in the hands of a skilled user, is an extremely deadly weapon," Sarutobi agreed, "It is unfortunate that not many people have the mental fortitude or imagination to bend the concept of reality."

"The signs were all there, that pointed out that he would be a genjutsu specialist," Itachi commented, "His father's tactical mind combined with his mother's flamboyant imagination would be an asset in genjutsu manipulation."

"Minato was said to be a genius that was seen once every century and Kushina's hot blooded nature fuelled her imagination," Sarutobi reminisced, "It is not far-fetched to think that their progeny would inherit these traits."

"Indeed."

A comfortable silence fell over the two of them.

"Itachi-kun," Sarutobi began, "You do realize he considers you to be his de facto older brother?"

Itachi nodded.

"Therefore, you also realise that because of this belief, you are responsible for the well-being and safety of Naruto?" Sarutobi asked.

"I already promised as much to Naruto-kun," Itachi said with a slight smile, "Under the threat of sterilization, I might add."

Sarutobi chuckled, "Thank you, Itachi-kun. Now then, I believe it has been a while since you have seen your family. Why don't you take the rest of the week off to go see how young Sasuke-kun is doing?"

"Thank you, Hokage-sama," Itachi said, "It has been a while since I have seen Sasuke, so I think I have a lot of catching up to do."

Itachi bowed once again and left the room.

'This boy is going to go a long way,' Sarutobi thought fondly, 'Now then what else have Naruto-kun and Anko-chan been up to?'

He giggled perversely before reaching for his crystal ball again.

xxXXxx

Naruto was sitting opposite Anko, wondering which deity he had pissed off that he was being punished like this. Anko had forced him into a dango stand where she proceeded to order 12 plates of dango, polished every single one of them in under 2 minutes and even stole Naruto's entire share. She was sitting back in her chair with a light hearted grin and a full stomach while Naruto glared at her in anger.

"Ah that hit the spot," she sighed in satisfaction.

Naruto's eyebrow twitched, "You destroyed about 10 pounds worth of dango. I would have killed you if you said that wasn't enough."

"Mou, why so testy today, Naru-chan," Anko whined, "I thought you loved me."

Naruto snorted, "You wish."

Anko's grin widened, "You didn't deny it."

Naruto realised his mistake too late when he took in Anko's predatory smile. Before he could book it out of the stall, his right arm was glomped by an excited Anko.

"Does cute little Naru-chan have teensy crush on his Anko-chan," she said as she nuzzled his cheeks again, "Don't worry, Anko wuvs you too."

'Is she referring to herself in the third-person,' Naruto thought, 'She really is insane.'

"Weasel, you traitor," he muttered, "I will get you back for this."

"Why do you call him that," asked an uncharacteristically serious Anko.

"What?"

"Why do you call taichou by his codename instead of his real name?"

"I don't know," Naruto replied honestly, "Some sort of psychological defense mechanism, maybe?"

Anko frowned, dissatisfied with his answer.

"I guess it's to honour the memory of when we first met," Naruto reminisced, "Me the demon brat and him the elite ANBU operative. The world always sees him as Uchiha Itachi, heir to the Uchiha clan and genius extraordinaire. I see him as Weasel, the socially retarded but kind older brother who lent a helping hand to a desperate child looking for some companionship."

When Anko didn't respond with a snarky comment, he turned around and saw an expression he thought he would never see on her face: understanding. When she noticed his gaze, she immediately schooled her expression into mock admiration and hugged him to her chest again.

"My little Naru-chan is so deep," she cooed, "You are going to make me very happy one day, right?"

"GET THE FUCK OFF ME!"

xxXXxx

Naruto was running through several scenarios in his head.

'Maybe I can get him in a warehouse full of pocky and burn it down right around him,' he thought savagely, 'Nah he would probably save the pocky and leave me in there. Maybe a lap dance at one of the gay-clubs?'

"Plotting your revenge, Naru-chan?" Anko asked, "You know that he could destroy you in any situation, right?"

Naruto looked at Anko with an incredulous expression, "I am not high Anko. Of course I knew that, but they don't call me the Prankster King from Hell for nothing, ya know."

"Who calls you that?" Anko asked suspiciously.

"Well there's me and then…," Naruto trailed off.

"I knew it," Anko said triumphantly, "You're such a fraud."

"TAKE THAT BACK, YOU LITTLE …!"

Anko's eyes narrowed, "What did you just call me?"

"N-nothing," Naruto said lamely.

He suddenly found himself pinned to the wall by a pair of snakes who hissed menacingly.

"Now, now Naru-chan," Anko crooned, "You know better than to insult your girlfriend. Maybe you just forgot, but it is my duty to retrain you on how to treat women."

"I will buy you 10 plates of dango," Naruto said desperately.

Anko's eyes widened, "You don't have any money."

"Fine, Weasel will buy you dango."

"Deal," Anko said, releasing the boy from his restraints.

Naruto groaned as he rubbed his shoulders, "Those boa constrictors are a real strain on the muscles…"

"Man up, Naru-chan. Or should I make you?" Anko said while opening her trench coat wider.

"Hah! That doesn't work on me," Naruto said victoriously, "I haven't hit my 'coming-of-age' period yet."

"Aww, you're such a tease, Naru-chan," she said as she leaned towards his ear, brushing it with her lips, "One day though…."

Naruto's ears reddened and Anko cheered in her head at finally breaking through his thick skin.

"Oh, I almost forgot," Naruto said as he rummaged in his pockets and pulled out a kunai.

"Happy Birthday, Anko-chan," Naruto smiled, "You didn't think we had forgotten did you?"

Anko silently accepted the kunai and looked it over. It was high quality work with the metal being chakra conductive. It was worth a fortune. She turned it over and read the engraving on the blunt side of the knife.

'To a very precious person,

from Naru-chan and Weasel.'

"It was my idea," Naruto said immodestly, "Weasel wanted to get you a locket but apparently that screws with co-worker ethics or some bullshit. Who gets a kunoichi a locket anyway? I suggested the kunai and Weasel covered for it."

Naruto was suddenly swept into a hug by Anko. He tensed thinking that she was messing around with him again, but she just held him against herself. He slowly relaxed when he realised that she was being genuine.

Anko didn't know what to think. There was a river of emotions raging through her, most prominent of which were happiness and affection for the blonde boy in her arms.

"Thank you, Naru-chan," she said quietly.

"No problem, _girlfriend_," he said, grinning wickedly, "Don't you get all emo on me. I have enough on my plate with Weasel being emotionally dead."

"I am not emotionally dead," a voice said, "I am just rational enough to not project an overly emotional persona of myself."

Naruto's head swivelled around to look at Itachi, who had the smallest trace of a smirk on his face.

"Am I interrupting something?" Itachi asked smoothly, "Can I get you anything? Tissues, ice-cream, tampon?"

Naruto looked at Itachi with a weird look on his face, "Did you just try to make a joke? Good Lord of all the heavens above! Just stick to being socially retarded Weasel, and leave the humour to the pros."

Anko just stared at the two of them fondly, wishing that this moment would never end.

"Snap out of it, Anko," Naruto said, clapping her on the shoulder, "I like you better when you're flaunting the wares."

Anko's smirk changed into a predatory grin, "So you mean to say you like me?"

Naruto groaned, "Sure! Let's go with that."

He was immediately swept into another hug that crushed his face against her 'assets', "I love you too, Naru-chan."

She twirled on the spot and skipped away, each step light and joyful.

"So I am guessing she liked your present?" Itachi asked.

"Our present, Weasel," Naruto corrected him, "You paid for it as well."

Itachi nodded, soaking up the joy of the moment. Naruto clapped him on the back, "Alright Weasel, I am out for today. I will catch you later."

Naruto turned around and strode away towards his apartment. Itachi watched him until he disappeared around the corner. He shook his head in exasperation and started the long walk back to the Uchiha compound.

xxXXxx

"I am home," Itachi called out as he reached the Uchiha residence. An excited shout emanated from the house as the door opened and Sasuke barrelled out to greet his older brother.

"You're going down today, nii-san," Sasuke shouted happily, as he charged his brother. He attempted to lay a strike on his brother's chest but was immediately stopped when Itachi poked him on the forehead.

"Maybe some other day, otouto," Itachi said, a smile lighting up his face.

A subdued Sasuke kicked a pillar to vent his feelings before his natural child-like curiosity shone through.

"So did you kill any super –strong ninja today?" Sasuke asked, salivating at the prospect of one of Itachi's war stories, "Tell me all about it."

Itachi sighed, "Sasuke, I just got back from a tiring day at work. I will tell you about it later, okay?"

Sasuke looked down, all his earlier excitement evaporated, "You always say that, nii-san…"

Itachi sighed again. He hated to disappoint his kid brother, "Tell you what, I will tell you all about it if you finish your homework and eat dinner with me."

Sasuke immediately sprung up like a jack-in-the-box, happy that his brother would be eating with him.

"Awesome!" he shouted as he ran circles around his brother.

Itachi chuckled at Sasuke's enthusiasm. He sometimes wished Naruto was more like that. It wasn't right seeing a kid that acted more like a veteran shinobi.

Sasuke suddenly paused, his eyes staring at Itachi's back, "Nii-san, do you like men?"

Itachi froze at that statement, "Who told you that?"

"It says so on this piece of paper on your back," Sasuke said, innocently, "What does it mean that you like men?"

'Paper on my back?' Itachi thought, 'But when…?'

He suddenly remembered Naruto clapping him on the back before he left.

xxXXxx

Naruto looked up from his bed when he felt a massive killing intent coming from the direction of the Uchiha compound. He chuckled and then sweat-dropped when it spiked. Maybe he had gone too far?

xxXXxx

"You wanted to see me, father?" Itachi said, bowing his head to the figure standing in front of him.

Uchiha Fugaku was a jounin of Konoha and leader of both the Uchiha clan and the Military Police Force. Short black hair reached down to his shoulders and a perpetual scowl was set on his face. Cold, onyx eyes turned towards Itachi but softened when he recognised who it was. Creases were visible below his eyes which signified that he frowned a lot. All in all, Itachi was the spitting image of Fugaku.

"Ah Itachi," Fugaku began, in a strong voice, "I trust your mission went well?"

"Yes, father," Itachi reported, "The mission was accomplished successfully with no casualties for our forces."

"Very good," Fugaku said, "Now could you explain why Sasuke was found unconscious on the floor, knocked out by that ungodly amount of killer intent that you projected?"

Itachi knew this was coming. He really should have been more careful. He was going to kill Naruto after this.

"I am sorry, father," Itachi apologized, "In a moment of extreme passion, I lost myself and allowed my killer intent to surface. You have my word that it won't happen again."

Fugaku's eyes narrowed, "It was that _thing_ again wasn't it?"

"I am afraid I don't understand, father," said Itachi, knowing exactly what his father was talking about.

"Do not presume to insult my intelligence, Itachi," said Fugaku, "Your friendship with that _demon_ is distracting you from your objectives."

"With all due respect, father," said Itachi in a tone that was anything but respectful, "How many other people do you know who can claim that they command an ANBU squad at my age?"

"ANBU is not the objective, my son," Fugaku said in an exasperated tone, "Your destiny is beyond those blood-soaked walls."

"I haven't expressed a desire for the seat of the Hokage," said Itachi, coldly.

"You don't have to," said Fugaku, trying to defuse the situation, "Your skill dictates that you must rise to the top."

"My skill doesn't dictate anything, father," said Itachi, allowing a hint of anger into his tone, "My objectives are defined by my will."

Fugaku frowned. This wasn't how he had wanted the conversation to go.

"Itachi," said Fugaku, "You are part of the Uchiha clan. You cannot go around associating with such riff-raff. It sends the wrong message to the public."

"As long as they don't act on these _messages_," said Itachi venomously, "I really fail to see what the problem is here."

"You are not able to view this situation objectively," said Fugaku sternly, "We will talk later."

Saying his piece, Fugaku turned around and left the room.

Itachi frowned. If his father was just going to give up trying to convince him, he would not have engaged Itachi in such a pointless conversation. His eyes widened when he realised what the entire conversation was about.

'Damn it, I knew there was something wrong with the whole setup,' Itachi thought as he dashed out of the compound, en route to Naruto's apartment, 'It was a god damned distraction.'

xxXXxx

Naruto was tending to his plants. He had no idea why he enjoyed it, but growing these plants gave him a modicum of comfort. At least they wouldn't call him names. Lost in contemplation about the possibilities of talking plants, he almost missed the faint whistling of the approaching shuriken. He lifted up the watering can to block them, but three of them penetrated and struck him in the chest, right arm and face. The one that struck his face merely gouged out a line before continuing on its trajectory but the others lodged themselves in bone and muscle. Gritting his teeth in pain, Naruto dived back into the apartment to give himself some cover from another hail of shuriken.

On the opposite roof, three cloaked and masked individuals were observing the house to make sure that Naruto didn't try to escape. They had very little time with which to act. Itachi was probably already on the way and they knew that they didn't stand a chance against the Uchiha prodigy. Acting quickly, they jumped across the street and entered Naruto's apartment. As soon as they landed, one of the men tripped a hastily set up tripwire that blew a whole can of sawdust into his face. He suddenly stiffened and fell forward revealing Naruto behind him, clutching at his wounds. His companions looked to see a kunai embedded in the back of their accomplice's skull. His partners snarled in rage and rushed to attack Naruto in retaliation. Naruto was just about to flee when he felt a pair of katana impale him through his heart and right kidney. He stiffened as pain washed over him and a series of hacking coughs expelled torrents of blood from his mouth. His body slumped, still being supported by the katana. The two attackers smiled in satisfaction.

A whistling sound was heard from behind them. One of the attackers heard them just in time and dived aside. The other attacker wasn't as lucky. The shuriken embedded themselves into his skull and passed clean through with a grey substance leaking out of the holes in his head. The remaining attacker looked around to see another Naruto behind them. He looked down to see the 'body' and glimpsed 'Naruto' breaking up into subatomic particles and disappearing.

'Fucking genjutsu,' he thought savagely.

Naruto was not feeling very hot at the moment. He was in fact feeling extremely faint due to blood loss and that last hail of shuriken had taken the strength out of his limbs. He placed a hand against the wall in an effort to steady himself.

His attacker picked up his discarded katana and approached him with caution. When he realised that Naruto was on his last legs, he straightened up and sauntered over to him.

"Well look at what you did now," the man said in mock horror, "You just had to go and kill my partners, huh? Ah who cares, more money for me anyway. I have to pay you back for trying to kill me though and I am going to enjoy this."

He positioned his katana and slowly inserted it into Naruto's abdomen. Naruto bit down on his tongue to prevent himself from screaming. He would not give this asshole the satisfaction of seeing him broken.

"Oh looks like we have a tough guy here," said the attacker to no one in particular, "Not many people can take that and not scream out. Don't worry though. I am sure a second katana will remedy that."

Naruto looked up at him and grinned painfully, "What kind of a ninja are you supposed to be? You talk way too much."

Before the attacker could respond, a tanto burst through his chest. His eyes looked down at the blade in disbelief and he slowly died.

Naruto looked up at his saviour and smiled when he saw his face, "So am I still in trouble about the whole 'I like boys' thing?"

He then proceeded to promptly pass out.

* * *

**And cut. A lot of action in this chapter, if I do say so myself. I tried not to make Naruto seem OP cause I like character development. Let me know what you think.**

Omake

"Naruto-kun, I am giving you one chance to put that item down before an accident occurs," Itachi said warningly, "You are aware of how dangerous that item is, I assume."

Naruto snorted, "Dangerous? This baby right here? It's just pocky, Weasel. Don't get your panties in a bunch."

After making that statement, he put the sweet in his mouth.

Itachi froze.

"Ah that was a nice snack," said Naruto patting his stomach, "Still not as good as ramen though."

When he noticed Itachi shaking, he grew concerned, "You alright there, Weasel?"

Itachi lifted his head and met Naruto's gaze.

"What the hell happened to your eyes?" Naruto exclaimed, "They look like shuriken."

Itachi's eyes narrowed. He looked at his reflection on the lake's surface and saw that Naruto was indeed telling the truth.

"It seems that the traumatic experience I just had has awoken my Mangekyou Sharingan," Itachi deduced.

"Mangekyou Sharingan? Traumatic experience?" Naruto said, "You need to see a combat psychiatrist, Weasel. You're messed up."

Itachi looked into Naruto's eyes.

"Tsukuyomi."

Naruto suddenly found himself nailed to a cross. The entire world was coloured in shades of black and white and the sky was coloured a blood red.

"Welcome to Tsukuyomi, Naruto-kun," said Itachi, "In this world, I am god. For the next 72 hours, you shall be forced to watch as I set fire to your precious ramen."

Naruto looked to Itachi's side and saw that a lot of ramen bowls had appeared near Itachi.

"Weasel, come on you're going too far now."

A bowl of ramen burst into flame.

"DAMN IT WEASEL, STOP THIS MADNESS!"

Another bowl spontaneously combusted.

"NOOOOOOO, MY PRECIOUS RAMEN!"

xxXXxx

After what felt like an eternity of watching burning ramen, Naruto looked up at Itachi with defeat in his eyes.

"Only 71 hours, 59 minutes and 59 seconds remaining."

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS BULLSHIT!"


	3. R&R (Yeah right!)

**Well I took some time with this chapter, not because it was hard to write or anything. Semester 2 just fucked me over and I was swamped with assignments, projects and other bullshit. But you don't care about the woes of a student. I know I wouldn't. Also, the manga is really starting to piss me off. **

**Disclaimer: I don't even want to own Naruto at this point. I can only take so much bullshit.**

* * *

_October 25_

_8 years after the Kyuubi disaster_

_Konohagakure No Sato_

The doctor walked out of the Intensive Care Unit and proceeded towards the two individuals who had brought in the victim.

"The patient is no longer in a critical state," he said, pulling down his surgeon's mask, "We had to do some invasive surgery to dig out the bone and shuriken fragments as well as sew his stomach shut since the weapon had torn it open."

Sarutobi and Itachi relaxed from their tense postures after hearing this. They had made it in time.

"There was however, one irregularity," the doctor continued, "The hole in the stomach wall was smaller than the width of the katana."

Sarutobi's eyebrows shot up, "Regeneration factor?"

"Possibly," the doctor admitted, "We have never seen anything like it though. I doubt he would need those stitches for more than a few days."

Sarutobi nodded, simultaneously troubled and elated by this piece of news. Elated because it would help Naruto survive this incident, and troubled because he had a theory as to what had provided this regeneration factor.

"Thank you very much doctor," Sarutobi said earnestly, "You have rendered a tremendous service to Konohagakure No Sato. The patient's regeneration factor, however, is to be kept secret by decree of the Sandaime Hokage of Konoha. Do you understand?"

"Of course, Hokage-sama," the doctor said, bowing slightly, "It was my duty as medical practitioner and rest assured that the secret is safe with me."

He then proceeded to head back to his office for a hot beverage after the long surgery.

"It's the Kyuubi, isn't it?" said a quiet whisper.

Sarutobi turned around to see Itachi regarding him with his 'ANBU captain' gaze. He didn't like that expression. People died, _violently_, when Itachi had that expression.

"It is a possibility that I have deduced as well," Sarutobi admitted, "It could just be the Uzumaki blood running through his veins."

"The Uzumaki clan was never documented to possess a healing factor," Itachi stated.

"And why would they document such a thing?" Sarutobi asked, "A ninja must never draw attention to himself and the Uzumaki clan were some of the finest ninja in the Elemental Nations."

Itachi nodded, agreeing with the statement, "I would assume they would have been captured and forced into breeding programs during the war if this information was public."

"Indeed," Sarutobi commented, "Better to die with honour than live as a lab experiment in the hands of the enemy."

An uncomfortable silence fell between the two.

"I still think that the Kyuubi has a role to play with this ability," Itachi said, "If I were the beast, I would do everything in my power to make sure my jinchuuriki survived."

"Yes, but that doesn't bode well for Naruto," said the Sandaime, "It could mean that the seal is loose and might break."

"I fully trusted the Yondaime when he was alive and even in his death I trust that he would not commit any act that would endanger the lives of his son or the village," Itachi declared.

"As do I," Sarutobi quickly stated," I know for a fact that the seal is designed to allow small amounts of the Kyuubi's chakra to assimilate with Naruto's chakra. Maybe the regeneration is being caused by increased natural potency of chakra?"

"Out of all the theories I have considered, that one seems the most logical," Itachi said, "So the seal is fine and Naruto is not in any danger."

"Since I am not proficient in fuuinjutsu, I can't be fully sure," Sarutobi admitted, "I will have Jiraiya check the seal when is in Konoha the next time."

Itachi nodded, satisfied with the arrangement.

The two suddenly turned towards the reception where a shouting match was ensuing.

"I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT PROTOCOL," a woman roared, "I NEED TO SEE HIM RIGHT NOW!"

"Anko?"

The woman turned around, revealing purple hair and brown eyes.

"Itachi? Sandaime-sama?" she said in a lower tone, "What are you doing here?"

"The same reason you are here, I would assume," Itachi stated.

Anko's eyes widened as she connected the dots. She immediately dashed towards them.

"Is he alright? Where is he? I need to see him right now."

Itachi's expression didn't waver, "You cannot see him right now, and I would ask you to go home and await further instructions."

Itachi suddenly found himself pinned to the wall by a pair of anacondas that hissed at him.

Anko's expression was neutral but her eyes expressed her immense fury, "I don't give two flying fucks about what you want me to do! WHERE IS HE?"

Itachi merely eyed the snakes with a dispassionate gaze, "Are you aware of the penalty for insubordination and assaulting a senior officer?"

Anko's eyes tightened and her features twisted into a feral snarl. Just as she was about to command her snakes to bite into their captive, she felt a heavy presence descend on her. The aura was so weighted that she was finding it hard to breathe.

"Enough," said the Sandaime Hokage, his voice calm but his tone revealing the power behind his command, "You are members of the ANBU, not children playing at the park. I expect more from members of the Alpha Squad."

The oppressive aura disappeared and Anko drew breath, her oxygen starved lungs devouring it hungrily. She felt her fury dissipate along with the snakes that were holding Itachi.

"I am sorry, taichou," said Anko, "I didn't mean to attack you like that."

"It is quite alright," Itachi said, waving the apology away, "I would just ask you to have more control over your emotions in the future. Outbursts like that can get you killed."

Anko nodded, "Can I please just see him before I go?"

Itachi eyed her, "I don't think you would want to."

"Taichou for heaven's sake," Anko began exasperatedly, "I have seen some horrendous injuries in ANBU already."

Itachi considered her statement, "Very well. Just keep in mind that Naruto will get better. This isn't permanent."

Anko was gone by the time Itachi gave his consent. She looked through the glass and immediately felt despair pounding against her heart. Naruto was hooked up to all manner of machines and every patch of visible skin was swathed in bandages. Some of the wounds had bled into them, making him seem more injured than he really was. Her heart broke upon seeing Naruto in this condition. It seemed like years ago when Naruto had given her the kunai as a present. Her legs wobbled and were about to fold when she felt a pair of arms steady her. She looked around to see that Itachi was supporting her and keeping her from falling to the ground.

"Breathe, Anko," Itachi said sternly, his captain's demeanour surfacing, "It wouldn't help Naruto if you passed out as well."

His tone penetrated into her mind and she forced in a big gulp of air. Immediately, her legs steadied. Once satisfied that she could stand, Itachi stepped back and stared at her with an 'I told you so' expression.

"What happened to him?" she asked in a hollow tone.

"Multiple lacerations to the face, chest and arm, bone fragments and shuriken in various parts of his body, and impalement by katana through the stomach," Itachi listed off in a neutral manner, "He just got out of a 6 hour surgery where they removed the fragments and shuriken and stitched his stomach shut."

"Oh Kami…," Anko whispered.

"I knew you wouldn't be able to handle the sight of him," Itachi stated, "It is one thing to see an enemy disembowelled on a battlefield and another to see a friend in such a helpless state."

Anko's expression suddenly morphed into one of pure fury.

"Who did this?" she asked in a deadly tone, "I need to find him and kill him. Painfully…"

"You're too late," Itachi said, the smallest smirk breaking through his expression, "Naruto and I already took care of them."

"Them?"

"3 attackers, all missing nin from Kirigakure No Sato," Itachi stated, "Naruto managed to eliminate 2 before I reached the scene and terminated the third."

Anko blinked, "He got 2 of them? How?"

Itachi smiled a rare smile, full of pride for the boy, "Genjutsu and an amazing set of indigenously conceived traps. The boy is a natural."

Anko blinked again and a small smile appeared on her face.

"That's my Naru-chan," she said fondly. She then frowned as a thought struck her.

"Were those his first kills?"

Itachi nodded, "I understand where you are coming from, but I don't think he was affected by them. He certainly didn't act like most genin I have seen."

Anko's mood plummeted, "That's not good."

"What?"

"I said, that's not good," she enunciated, "He should have felt remorse. If he didn't, we could have another psychopath on the loose."

The Sandaime intervened, "Anko, calm down. This is Naruto we are talking about. He isn't the same as… a mutual enemy."

"You can say his name, Hokage-sama," Anko said stiffly, "So you can understand what I am getting to. Orochimaru was the cruellest son-of-a-bitch I ever had the misfortune of meeting and I don't think I can handle Naruto becoming something similar."

Itachi opened his mouth, but was interrupted by Sarutobi, "No, Itachi. Her worry is legitimate. Not everyone has the same mental fortitude as you."

"Naruto-kun has a similar level of fortitude or even greater than my own, Hokage-sama," Itachi declared, "I can assure you that he is not going to turn into an S-rank missing nin."

"We are getting ahead of ourselves here," Sarutobi said, trying to defuse the tension, "Our main priority should be Naruto's health right now. His mental stability can be assessed later."

Anko and Itachi immediately abandoned the argument as they allowed the Sandaime's words to seep into their minds.

"Wait a minute," Anko began, "You said they were missing-nin? Then who hired them?"

Itachi's expression darkened, "I have no idea."

xxXXxx

(3 days later)

Naruto walked out of the hospital, breathing in the dusty air of Konoha.

"I hate hospitals," he declared, "The food's bad, the people are worse and I swear those doctors really love their needles. Did I mention I hate hospitals?"

Itachi's expression twitched, "You are lucky. Anyone else who would have sustained those injuries would have been in there for a few weeks at the least."

"About time some luck came my way," Naruto said, "With all the shit being thrown at these past few days, I could use some luck."

"I have been meaning to talk to you about that," Itachi began, "How did you kill those two?"

Naruto shrugged, "A bag of sawdust, a kunai and some shuriken. No big deal."

"On the contrary," Itachi said, "You eliminated two shinobi listed as C-rank under the bingo book. Most genin would not have been able to pull that off and you haven't even joined the academy yet."

"Was that a subtle compliment?" Naruto said, eyeing Itachi suspiciously, "It's really sad that I can't tell if you're complimenting me or just stating fact."

Itachi just looked at him.

"Goddamn it, Weasel!" Naruto shouted, "I hate it when you do that. As for the two retards calling themselves shinobi, I think you know I am probably better than any genin this village has ever called a 'ninja.'"

Itachi acquiesced to that. It was true after all.

"They wasted valuable time trying to act stylish," Naruto said, dismissively, "Style does a lot of good when you're dead, doesn't it? They also made the mistake of underestimating me. I like that mistake though. I wouldn't have lived otherwise."

Itachi frowned slightly, "That's a rather pessimistic view of the situation, Naruto-kun."

"Yeah well when you get to be me, the glass really is just full of air," Naruto said airily, "It doesn't even have the decency to be half full for me."

"How did you feel when you killed those two?"

Naruto raised an eyebrow, "Are you seriously asking me that?"

Itachi had the decency to look (slightly) ashamed, "Anko asked me to give you the whole first-kill spiel."

Naruto sighed," Look I love Anko and all but she needs to lay off of me. It was them or me and I like me too much to let it be me."

Itachi nodded, understanding the sentiment behind Naruto's words, "She cannot help but be worried for you. She wants you to be as normal as possible because she cannot suffer another heartbreak again?"

"Heartbreak?" Naruto said, confused, "What are you talking about? Anko doesn't have a heart. Hell I would think she would go around dealing heartbreaks."

"You know that isn't true, Naruto," Itachi chastised, "She wasn't always this…_deranged_. She used to be a lovely girl with hopes and dreams for her future, until she was betrayed."

Itachi's expression was equal parts sad and murderous. He had known Anko in the Academy even though she was 3 years older than him. It pained him to see her act like she did.

"She was the student of a very powerful ninja known as Orochimaru," Itachi said.

Naruto's eyes widened, "Orochimaru? As in Orochimaru of the Sannin?"

"The very same," Itachi said grimly, "The brightest and greatest traitor to ever grace the streets of Konoha. A deranged scientist who went mad after he was passed over for the seat of the Yondaime Hokage."

"No kidding," Naruto said, "That solves the issue of her snake fetish."

Itachi chuckled slightly, "She sees you as Orochimaru before he went rogue. She was so worried when she was informed of your condition and almost lost consciousness when she saw your state. That's why she was worried about how you would react to making your first kill. That's why she wants you to be as normal as possible so that she doesn't lose you."

Naruto was silent at the end of Itachi's revelation, mulling over his words.

"Logically speaking," Naruto started, "I have an even bigger motivation to turn traitor than Orochimaru. I am reviled, ignored and lately attacked in this village. If I were incapable of higher cognitive deduction, I would probably have run off already."

Itachi was silent but his worry was mounting with every syllable that Naruto spoke.

"However, I now have ties, few as they may be, to this village," Naruto said, "Jiji, Anko, Teuchi, Ayame and yourself. I can hardly leave all of you behind and gallivant of just for my own selfish desires now, can I?"

Itachi immediately felt immense relief at those words. He had been worried that he had inadvertently given Naruto the idea of forsaking the village.

"I had faith that your understanding would trump Anko's fear," Itachi said, "But she doesn't know that yet. It might be in your best interests to assuage her fears."

Naruto waved his hand indifferently, "If she cannot believe that I would never betray her, then I cannot think of any way to persuade her myself. In any case, she would know that you probably put me up to it."

It was at times like this when Itachi was equally proud and scared of Naruto at the same time. Proud because of the way he could read people and situations, and scared because if Naruto ever gave reason to the leadership that he was betraying them, he would probably be the only person able to stop him.

'As always your ingenuity has beaten out my logic,' Itachi thought, 'It won't be long now that you reach my level of skill.'

"Very well," Itachi accepted, "I leave it up to your discretion to handle Anko."

Naruto nodded, immediately reverting back to what he called his 'street' persona.

"Well that's enough doom and gloom for today, Weasel-chan," he said cheekily, "Let's get some ramen to celebrate my triumph over the Shinigami."

Before either of them could move, a ninja shunshined out of nowhere right next to Itachi.

"Ey, Itachi," he greeted offhandedly, "Where have you been? I have been looking for you."

"Hello, Shisui," Itachi replied, "I was just about to head home when you appeared."

Shisui deflated, moaning over all the effort lost in finding Itachi. If he had just waited 3 more seconds, he wouldn't have had to come out of the house at all. He then noticed Naruto.

"Who might you be, little guy?" he asked curiously, ruffling Naruto's hair, "Did Itachi scare you with his mean expression?"

Naruto snorted, "Weasel has got the range of expressions of a straw. Bastard would get laid every other day if he just smiled at a few chicks."

Shisui recoiled then fell to the floor, rolling with laughter.

"AHAHAHAHHA! A snot-nosed kid's got you all figured out, Mr. ANBU Captain," Shisui said, mocking Itachi, whose expression had twisted ever so slightly at Naruto's comment and Shisui's reaction.

"Name's Uchiha Shisui, kiddo," Shisui said, sticking his hand out for Naruto to shake, "Pleasure to meetcha."

"'Shunshin No Shisui' (Shisui of the Body Flicker), Jounin of Konohagakure No Sato," Naruto began, "Outstanding bounties in Mizu No Kuni (Water Country), Kaminari No Kuni (Lightning Country), and Tsuchi No Kuni (Earth Country)."

A silence descended upon the trio.

"It seems I am at a disadvantage here," Shisui said coldly, his hand reaching for the tanto on his back, "Would you give me the honour of telling me your name?"

"Honour can go fuck itself," Naruto said, unafraid of Shisui's manoeuvre, "A ninja always makes sure that an opponent is at a disadvantage."

Shisui was shocked. This kid had the exact same philosophy as himself. His eyes widened even further when his mind eventually whispered a name to him.

"Uzumaki Naruto?" Shisui asked.

Naruto raised an eyebrow in surprise, "The famed Shisui knows little-old-me? I am touched."

Shisui was shocked. His mind wandered to the night where Itachi and him tailed a lone boy across Konoha to make sure that he wasn't harmed by the mob that was chasing him. Atleast the kid looked healthier compared to back then.

Naruto stared at him, "What? Is there something on my face?"

Shisui started, suddenly realizing that he had been staring rather unabashedly at the boy for the past minute.

"My apologies," he said, "I have never quite seen anyone with marks such as these."

He pointed at the whisker-like marks on Naruto's cheeks.

"Oh these?" Naruto asked, gesturing carelessly, "Yeah, chicks dig it."

Shisui stared at him, "How old are you?"

"Eight."

Shisui glared accusingly at Itachi.

"Anko," Itachi said simply.

Shisui's expression morphed into understanding with a lot of pity mixed in.

"Figures," he shrugged.

"Yeah wasn't really much of a chance that I would end up to be sophisticated," Naruto said, "What with all the bullshit I have to go through."

Shisui nodded sagely, before remembering that he wasn't supposed to know about the 'bullshit.'

"Well it was nice meeting ya, Naruto," Shisui said, "See ya around. Itachi, I will meet you back at the compound."

With a wave he disappeared, a breath of wind signifying his departure.

Naruto stared at the empty spot, "Of the Body Flicker indeed. Couldn't even sense the chakra from that move."

"Well I am off, I am needed elsewhere," Itachi said, "Try not to get attacked by anymore nukenins for a few weeks now."

"Where's the fun in that?" Naruto grinned, "I am all about kicking ass and getting stabbed."

Itachi stared at him.

Naruto shrugged, "It sounded way better in my head."

"I question your sanity sometimes."

"Sanity's overrated anyway," Naruto said, as Itachi disappeared in a similar manner to Shisui.

xxXXxx

"You called for me, Father," Itachi said, bowing stiffly.

Fugaku just stared at his eldest son, suppressed rage visible in his normally emotionless eyes.

"Tell me Itachi," he began, in a cold tone, "How far are you going to fall in betraying your family?"

Itachi glanced up sharply, his rage unconsciously triggering his Sharingan. He took a second to calm down and gather his thoughts before speaking.

"I am afraid I do not know what you are talking about, Father," he said in a neutral tone.

Fugaku banged his fist against the table, "Do not play games with me, Itachi! You know I am talking about that _thing_ that you are companions with."

"I was not aware that I was friends with an inanimate object," Itachi said coldly, secretly enjoying the sight of his father's nostrils flaring.

One could literally feel the killing intent pouring out of Fugaku by this point, thick, furious and vile. He suddenly remembered with whom he was talking and the killing intent abruptly cut out.

He sighed," I am sorry son. I didn't mean to show so much fury. I am being pressured by the clan to keep you away from the boy and you aren't making things easier."

"Is that why you sent for those nukenin from Kirigakure to assassinate an eight year old boy?"

Fugaku looked up sharply, "That is a baseless accusation, Itachi."

"Are you telling me that the Uchiha Military Police did not catch and identify three chuunin level nukenin when they entered the village?" Itachi asked sarcastically, "So much for the 'eyes of a hawk'?"

Fugaku shook his head wearily, "As always I cannot refute your logic. Yes it was the clan that commissioned the assassination. I merely looked the other way when the assassins entered the village."

"You do realize that you just painted a gigantic bullseye on the clan, don't you?" Itachi said, eyes widening when Fugaku looked shocked. "It took me all of 10 seconds to figure out that the Military Police were involved. How long do you think until the Sandaime finds out."

Fugaku's expression morphed from shock and fear to cold humour, "I think you are overestimating that doddering old fool. He cannot see what's under his pipe most of the time."

Itachi's eyes narrowed, "That statement could be considered treasonous in a military doctrine such as Konoha."

"Come now Itachi, you are hardly going to go running to that fool and imprison your own father," Fugaku said dismissively.

Itachi didn't respond to that statement.

Taking his silence to mean agreement, Fugaku continued, "The clan has hereby issued an ultimatum. You must cease to be the companion of that boy at once. Failure to comply will result in your expulsion from the clan, and I am sure you already know the fate of those expelled from the clan."

"You would drive a stake into the eyes of your own son?" Itachi queried.

Fugaku looked shocked at the statement, "I would never even consider it Itachi. Why would you even think that you would continue to consort with that boy when your status is on the line? Surely I taught you better than that?"

Itachi's eyes narrowed, considering his options. His brain identified three possible scenarios and the consequences of each scenario. Uchiha Itachi made his choice.

"Yes father, you have," Itachi said, "Henceforth, I will no longer be seen with Uzumaki Naruto."

* * *

**And done. Not too much action in this one, but it was necessary for some form of build-up. I didn't really want to pile on too much into one chapter. Information overload is a terrible thing in a story. On a side note, if you guys want to see bigger chapters (like 10000 words) later on do let me know, whether in the reviews or PM.**

**Manga Discussion (SPOILER ALERT)**

**So Sasuke and his bunch of misfits went through all the trouble of resurrecting four of the greatest warriors in all the nations just for a whole lot of storytime? Seems like a waste of effort and a bit presumptuous of Sasuke. I wouldn't go all like, "Yo I control the most powerful mofo's on this continent, now tell me a story." At this point I think that Kishimoto is just milking the story for no reason. I much prefer shorter stories because they leave you with a lasting impression (*cough* Death Note *cough*) **

**/thoughts**

**Until next time**


	4. Fuck These Bitches!

**I am back. I apologise for the extended delay and I wont bore you with my obviously pre-fabricated excuses. Enjoy the chapter.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own it.**

* * *

_October 26_

_8 years after the Kyuubi disaster_

_Konohagakure No Sato_

Hiruzen Sarutobi, Sandaime Hokage of Konoha, had borne witness to many atrocities in his 60 years as a ninja. He had witnessed the brutality of the Second and Third Great War, where shinobi ripped shinobi apart. Senseless deaths caused by leaders who couldn't control their egos. Wars were the result of perceived insults, backstabbing and general showmanship on the part of these 'great' leaders. As his rival Danzo used to say, War is a commodity to most shinobi. Recently these atrocities had taken a new turn. When the populace of Konoha was denied the opportunity to vent against their faceless enemies, they picked a new individual, Uzumaki Naruto, whose only mistake was keeping the Kyuubi at bay instead of allowing it to rampage and destroy the shinobi world. This latest assassination attempt was the last straw. Sarutobi was now trying to piece together as to why the Uchiha clan wanted Naruto dead. Contrary to popular belief, he wasn't a doddering old fool. He may not be as agile as 10 years ago but his mind was still as sharp. Konoha had never been infiltrated by foreign missing ninja since its inception, the Military Police made sure of that. Hence, he found it hard to believe that the Uchiha had slipped up, tarnishing their record in such a manner. He had determined the 'who.' Now all that was left was determining the 'why.'

"Don't you normally meet Naruto at the training grounds now, Itachi-kun?" he asked, having sensed the presence of the prodigy behind him.

"I have come bearing news that is to be heard immediately, Hokage-sama," said Itachi. "I have reason to believe that my clan was involved in the attempt on Naruto's life."

Sarutobi stared at Itachi in surprise, "What makes you say that?"

Itachi looked at him with a slightly irritated expression, "Please Hokage-sama. Let us not waste time playing these games. I know that you have already figured it out too."

Sarutobi chuckled. He sometimes forgot just how capable Itachi was.

"What surprises me is that you are actually coming forward with this information," Sarutobi admitted. "I would have assumed that you would have wanted this to be kept quiet."

"My loyalty lies to the village first and my clan second, Hokage-sama," Itachi declared.

Sarutobi smiled. He already knew as much.

"I have also been coerced to stay away from Naruto by my clan on the threat of expulsion," Itachi continued.

Sarutobi whirled around immediately, "WHAT?!"

Itachi nodded grimly, "Father seems to consider Naruto to be less than vermin and he doesn't want me to continue in my capacity as his mentor."

Sarutobi, however, knew that there were much more sinister motives behind this coercion tactic. He knew that Fugaku was aware of Naruto's skill under Itachi's tutelage. What could Fugaku possibly gain by disrupting his growth? The answer hit him like a concussive exploding tag blast.

"A coup," he whispered.

It all made sense now. Fugaku's distant and cold demeanour during council meetings. His persistent demands to allow the Uchiha more legislative power. His outspoken disgust with Hiruzen's style of running things. Naruto was Sarutobi's ace in the hole, the wild card jinchuuriki who could turn the tide of the battle Sarutobi's way.

Sarutobi palmed his face and slid into the high backed chair. It seemed the ego issues of the Second and Third War had survived to this day and were coming back to blindside them into another conflict. He could see it now. The council split down the middle. Konoha shinobi tearing apart their own comrades. The village itself in flames and the marching armies of Iwagakure and Kumogakure, coming to rout out the survivors and claim the lands. It could very well herald the start of the Fourth Great War.

Itachi watched his leader's expression change slowly from intrigue to rage and eventually horror. The last expression sent a shiver down his spine, the haunted look of a war veteran who saw death being tossed around like candy at a general store.

Sarutobi's emotions were in turmoil. This couldn't be happening again. Didn't they ever learn that bloodshed is never the answer? Sarutobi was aware that Fugaku participated in the Third War but he also knew that he was on one of the recon teams, which generally didn't see much action. He didn't know how brutal war could be.

'Ignorance can be so dangerous,' he thought idly. He then remembered the boy sitting in front of him.

Itachi was looking at him with something close to desperation on his face. He couldn't believe that his family, the illustrious Uchiha clan, would stoop so low as to plan a coup to rout the leadership. Itachi had witnessed the horrors of war at the tender age of 4, and it had changed him. That was the day when he lost his innocence and gave him a strong sense of apathy to the brutalities of the life of a shinobi. It had also however taught him the importance of loyalty and humility, the two things that brought out the fighting potential of a shinobi. His faith inspired him to fight faster and harder knowing that the Great Tree's success depended on the success of his mission. Knowing that his own family was now risking the destruction of his home had destroyed him on the inside. What came first? The lives of his mother and father or the lives of thousands of Konoha's citizens?

"Itachi-kun," Sarutobi said. "Calm down! It doesn't help the situation if you go into shock over the situation."

Itachi heard the words but it did nothing to quell his panic. His parents or his village? His village or his parents? Scenarios kept popping into his head, none of which ended well for him.

"Captain Weasel!" Sarutobi said forcefully, projecting his heavy aura to gain Itachi's attention. "ANBU Directive 'Valkyrie' is now in effect."

Itachi looked up sharply, his panic pushed to the back of his mind.

"You wish to initiate 'Valkyrie'?" he questioned, beyond surprised. "The directive has not been used since the Second War."

"There is a first time for everything, Captain," Sarutobi answered tersely. "I will not allow Konoha shinobi to raise a weapon against their comrades merely because of your father's conviction that the village would benefit more under his rule."

Valkyrie was a contingency plan set up during the Second War by the Nidaime Hokage, Senju Tobirama, as a last resort of sorts. It was the typical carrot and stick approach, a diplomatic manoeuvre that involved opposing parties to meet in a neutral location to discuss terms for ending the war. What the party opposing Konoha didn't know was that the 'neutral' location was actually surrounded by Konoha's finest assassination squads in the event that the negotiations went south. It was a brutally effective tactic that capitulated on Konoha's reputation as an 'honourable' village. The Nidaime Hokage was a fair man but he wasn't stupid. He knew that no matter how generous the terms may be, the massive egos of his enemies would never allow them to project an air of them ceding to Konoha in any manner. As soon as the enemy leaders rejected the proposal, the assassination squads would descend onto the meeting spot and rain death upon all hostile forces, dealing a crippling blow to the opposition's leadership. The bodies were then arranged to be made to look like they were ambushed on the way back to their respective camps to keep suspicion off of Konoha. Hence the name 'Valkyrie,' the term for the harbingers of death from mythology from before the Great Sage's time.

Itachi was well aware that Fugaku would not settle for anything less than the seat of the Hokage. The Sandaime knew this too, so he didn't know why Sarutobi would even bother to meet with his father instead of just having him assassinated. He stiffened suddenly when he began to see what Sarutobi was trying to convey. Valkyrie was only successful when most of the opposition leadership was terminated not just one individual. His father could not possibly be the only conspirator in this coup.

For the first time in many years, Itachi let his body react to his emotions. His face slid into his hands and he moaned softly. He belonged to an entire family of traitors and oath-breakers.

Sarutobi was looking at him with sympathy in his eyes but his decision had been made. He would not allow the Uchiha patriarch's short sightedness to destroy the Shodaime Hokage's legacy.

xxXxx

Naruto was sitting on the grassy banks of Training Ground 7, waiting for Itachi to show up to begin the day's training. He had been sitting in the exact same spot almost two years ago when he had met Itachi for the first time. He smiled as he remembered how he bluffed Itachi into thinking that he was standing right on top of volatile explosives and actually laughed when he recalled his expression when he told him the truth. He had come a long way from bluffing his opponents and actually had the skills to take down or distract anyone who challenged him. Fortunately for them, the citizens had realised just how slippery Naruto could be and decided that he wasn't worth the trouble. He still had to suffer through the hateful stares and whispers, but at least he didn't have any vengeful mobs screaming for his blood. He nodded his head in satisfaction. Things were finally looking up for him.

He whirled around, having sensed the presence of a shinobi behind him.

"Uchiha Shisui?"

Shisui approached him nonchalantly, disregarding the kunai pointed at his throat.

"Yo kiddo," he said, "Didn't your mother tell you not to play with sharp objects?"

"I wasn't paying attention when she said that," Naruto quipped, "Too bad she died before I could understand her words."

Shisui cursed mentally. He hadn't thought about the insensitivity of the comment.

"So what does the great Uchiha require from me?"

"Must you always be so cynical?" Shisui enquired, frowning disapprovingly.

"Only when I am faced by assholes who want to kill me," said a voice behind him.

He whirled around, a kunai slipping into his hands but he was clotheslined by the clone that had managed to sneak up on him. Winded and unbalanced, he toppled to the ground where he noticed that his entire body was ensnared in highly flammable ninja wire. His eyes widened in shock. There was no way that this trap had been setup as soon as he arrived.

"What the fuck, Uzumaki!" Shisui shouted, "What are you playing at, you psycho?"

Naruto stood surrounded by 4 clones holding the final sign for a fire based jutsu.

"You have exactly 10 seconds to explain to me why the Uchiha clan wants me dead."

Shisui ceased struggling and looked at a pair of icy blue eyes.

"W-what?" he said uncertainly.

"5 seconds," Naruto said simply.

"No seriously! What are you talking about?" Shisui said.

Naruto just turned back and nodded to his clones. They completed the sequence of signs and released a controlled burst of flames that set the ninja wire alight. Naruto watched as Shisui was quickly consumed by the flames before he had a chance to scream.

"You know you can only interrogate prisoners when they are still alive, dumbass," said a voice off to his right.

Naruto turned to see Shisui looking perfectly unharmed and with an amused expression on his face, standing on a branch. He sighed.

"You were never there, were you?" he asked.

"Nope," Shisui said cheerfully. As he approached him, he could see the flash of red which signified an activated Sharingan.

"I have been forced to use the Sharingan very rarely," he commented. "A testament to how you took me by surprise."

Naruto snorted and turned to see the 'Shisui' stuck in the wires blur out of existence.

"Sometimes I really hate illusions," he grumbled.

"'Cept when you use it ofcourse," Shisui quipped, an amused twinkle in his eyes.

His amusement vanished when he remembered what Naruto had just said.

"What did you mean when you said that the Uchiha wanted you dead?"

"There are only so many meanings you can derive from that," Naruto said, dryly. "Old man Uchiha probably got pissed that I have been hanging around his dear son so much."

Shisui snorted, "That is hardly a reason to arrange for the assassination of a child."

"Yeah well, you will excuse me if I say that the Uchiha are not really known for reason," Naruto said. "Mostly known for their arrogance and holier-than-thou attitudes though."

Shisui grimaced at his words. Even he was privy to how the Uchiha strutted around the village like they owned it.

"They have forgotten what it means to be a shinobi," Naruto declared. "Hiding in plain sight? Fucking amateurs."

Shisui nodded at that. No one would ever guess that shinobi could make such a big show of themselves. Stealth and secrecy were the very lifeblood of ninja.

"Why do you think it is the Uchiha that sanctioned the hit on you?" Shisui asked.

Naruto raised an eyebrow.

"Really? You don't know? Damn and I thought everyone in the clan was as smart as Itachi." Naruto said. "It's pretty obvious. There is no way that those dumbasses who came after me slipped by the military police. If I could have noticed them before they attacked, the pink eyes would have noticed too."

"Pink eyes?" Shisui asked.

"It's an infection," Naruto explained. "I think it fits the Uchiha clan perfectly."

Shisui chuckled. He suddenly had a very vivid mental image of Fugaku hearing about the clan's newest nickname.

"Now if they didn't stop them, it could mean one of two things," Naruto continued. "One they were off diddling each other at poker instead of staying on duty or two, they would not want to interfere with a hit sanctioned by themselves."

"Impeccable logic," Shisui declared. "However, you can rest assured that I am not in fact looking to kill you. You would already be pushing up daisies if I was."

Naruto whistled, "And here I thought you understood what it meant to be a ninja."

"Oh I do," Shisui said nonchalantly. "I just know how to have fun too. You know that word, kiddo? Fun? You should try it out sometime."

"Excuse me for having my priorities straight after an assassination attempt," Naruto deadpanned. "Dumbass…"

"Oh right," Shisui said. "Completely forgot about that."

"I am surrounded by idiots," Naruto muttered.

"It's just you and me here."

"SHUT THE FUCK UP."

"Easy kid," Shisui said in a mollifying manner. "I am just here to pass on a message from everyone's favourite ANBU Captain."

Naruto instantly became serious, "Out with it."

"Initiative FTB," Shisui said simply.

Naruto's eyes widened but said nothing.

"Well what does it mean"? Shisui demanded.

"It stands for 'Fuck These Bitches'," Naruto said with a straight face.

Shisui fell off his tree.

"Did you come up with that?" he said, trying not to keel over laughing.

"Obviously," Naruto drawled. "I am Comedy of the Comedy and Tragedy duo."

"So what does it mean?" Shisui asked curiously.

"That…," Naruto began theatrically as Shisui leaned forwards. " ….is a secret."

Shisui faceplanted as he lost his balance.

"Walked right into that one," he said as he stood up and brushed himself off.

"Well I got work to do, places to be and idiots to kill," Naruto declared. "See you around, Bear."

With that said, Naruto vanished with a whisper.

Shisui was rooted to the spot. His identity was supposed to be a secret. A single thought prevailed in his mind.

'That was one cool body flicker.'

xxXXxx

Naruto jumped through the trees, lost in his thoughts. Initiative FTB or Initiative 'For the Brotherhood' was a contingency set up by Itachi in a scenario where he was forced to break contact with Naruto for an indefinite period of time, usually in the case of Itachi's family interfering with his relationship with the 'demon brat.' If a scenario such as this ever came to pass, Naruto was instructed to continue his training as if nothing was amiss, but secretly conduct a series of espionage missions to determine why Itachi was coerced into staying away from him. Naruto had to admire Itachi's brilliance in giving Shisui such a vague message to pass on. In the case where Shisui was interrogated to find out what message he had passed on, the interrogator would not gain any information and would only get irritated when he couldn't decipher the underlying meaning behind the message. Sweet revenge on nosy bastards who didn't know where not to stick their noses. As he reached his apartment, he discretely made sure that he hadn't lost the idiot tailing him. After all it wouldn't do for him to attract attention to his skills at a time as crucial as this. Those pink eyes really were amateurs when it came to the intricacies of being ninja. Who got spotted by an 8 year old ninja who was not even a ninja? Shaking his head at the stupidity of some people, Naruto entered his apartment to a sight that he never thought he would see. Anko was currently asleep on his dinner table, snoring softly and with the most peaceful expression on her face. Naruto had to stuff a fist into his mouth to keep from laughing at the general cuteness of the picture. This would be great blackmail material sometime in the future. Even through his mirth, he was feeling genuinely content at seeing such innocence in Anko. It was good to know that Orochimaru hadn't completely warped her. He leaned over her and in the huskiest voice he could muster (which wasn't really husky at all. Damn the pre-pubescent years…), he whispered for her to wake up.

Anko moaned and shifted, trying to burrow her face away from the light.

"5 more minutes," she mumbled in the cutest voice one could imagine.

Naruto was now trying not to keel over and die from laughter. His laughs, contained as they were, racked his entire body which in turn made the table vibrate violently. Anko was shaken awake because of the violent rattling. Blinking her bleary eyes, she yawned in a manner that reminded Naruto of a small puppy. It was here that he lost the battle with his amusement.

Anko was by now wide awake as she listened to Naruto howl with laughter. It was heartening to know that he wasn't affected by recent incidents.

"Having fun there, Naru-chan?" she said sweetly.

Naruto was now struggling to breathe, "You are soooo _cute_."

Anko stiffened, "Excuse me?"

"No, really," Naruto said, still shaking with laughter. "Konoha's Cold Blooded ANBU operative is just a big softy."

He suddenly found himself pinned to the walls by the now familiar boa constrictors.

"What did you say to me?" Anko said threateningly.

"Uhm, I was just commenting on how bloodthirsty you can get," Naruto said quickly, hoping to avoid Anko's more _violating_ punishments.

Anko grinned, "Aww I didn't know you cared."

"I really don't," Naruto muttered.

"What was that?"

"Nothing, nothing really."

Anko smiled enjoying the usual banter. Her smile faded, however, when she remembered why she was here.

"We need to talk."

* * *

**Bit short but I could only write so much. Damn brain would not co-operate with me and my imagination took a hit. That being said, I should be able to churn out updates more frequently seeing as I have quite a bit of free time. Don't quote me on that though...**

**Manga Discussion (Spoiler Alert)**

**It has now been confirmed that Kishimoto has in fact been trolling us for the past few weeks. How else can you explain how easily he made Sasuke rejoin Team 7? Oh I am sorry guys, I left the village to kill my brother, 'cept my brother wasn't really evil which gave me a legitimate reason to hate you guys since you were responsible for making him kill my whole family. But wait, I spoke to some long dead guys, one of whom hates all things Uchiha and now I want to be Hokage coz I am a hipster. Well not so much the last part, but you get the picture. I have always been surprised at the amount of hate that Sasuke receives in a lot of stories. I mean you can totally understand the guy's motives. If someone tore apart my family like that, you can damn well be sure that I would obliterate those sons-of-bitches off the face of this planet. Everyone, somehow, seems to think that he is emo and attention seeking and lots of other idiotic characteristics, but I dont see it. He always struck me as just generally being quiet, stoic and serious. If you ask me, he got off nicely after the violent murder of his entire family. He could have easily gone of the deep end and become the second coming of Orochimaru himself if he hadnt motivated himself to avenge his family. I was really looking forward to see what Sasuke would do with the four Hokages. I was personally hoping for him to use them to destroy Konoha. Using the greatest protectors of the village to destroy it is so ironic that it is almost poetically ironic, if that makes sense. But noooo! Here we see another case of the author just messing with the story in order to milk it for every last drop. I dont know if I want to continue reading after all those declarations by just about everybody to want to be Hokage...**

**/thoughts**

**Until next time.**


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